Friday, July 8, 2011

Are we losing too much??

Most people that know me know that I love technology, even though I am always a year or more behind the most current releases.  The iPhone 4 was out for a while before I got my iPhone 3G.  This works well for me. It saves money, plus, all those people insistent on having the most up-to-date gadget have already worked out all the bugs by the time I get there!!
The one thing I abhor about the use of technology, especially in the workplace, is the loss of etiquette in how we communicate with each other.  I was corresponding via email with a peer at work. My boss, being copied on the emails, responded to my peer's email to ask him a question.  My peer's response was simply, "yeah".

Not, "Yes, Sir"

Not, "Yes"

Hell, he couldn't even be bothered to capitalize his response!!

Where has all the respect gone???
I'm all for the abbreviated way in which we correspond via text message.  Well, almost.  I still find it difficult to abbreviate most things, except for "LOL" and "prolly" (as opposed to "probably").  I realize that it's my issue, but seriously... just because it's an almost laid-back way of communicating, does that mean it doesn't deserve to be done with a modicum of decorum?
I dunno... when I read my peer's response to my boss' email, I was immediately offended.  Knowing my boss, he probably didn't even notice.   It just hit me as being so disrespectful.
It was all I could do not to hit the reply button and say, "Really???" 
Al-Anon tells me that I'm taking my peer's inventory. I have no control over people, places and things.  Trying to not be so judgmental is probably as hard for me as it was to quit smoking.  It may even be harder! Is it really too much to ask that people do things my way?

Thursday, June 23, 2011

My first "good" shoes

I've always had issues with my feet and in the past couple of years have developed plantar fasciitis, a painful ailment of the heel.   After sitting for a while, I cannot just stand up and walk like most people.  It's especially painful getting out of bed.  I have to move slowly, giving the muscle time to stretch out and the initial pain to subside.  Even then, I do not take one step without discomfort.

I've attributed a lot of my problems to my weight, but talking with a friend this morning, I realized that perhaps it goes back even further than that!

When I was growing up, my mom struggled to make ends meet and my shoes always came from discount stores and were not of the best quality.  Of course I didn't know that then.  All I knew is I didn't have the cool looking shoes with the pretty swoosh on them that all of my friends had.  I was always horrified by my shoes, but there wasn't much that I could do about it.

When I was older and earning my own money, I learned to appreciate the savings of buying cheap shoes, especially those not worn for work.  My tennis shoes have continued to be from discount retailers.  The few pairs of Nike shoes I've had came from their outlet store, so only God knows if they were quality shoes.  

Last week, I walked on the treadmill at the "Y" wearing my most recent Nikes and they hurt so bad, I couldn't stand it.  Having regular use of the treadmill as a goal for improving my health, I knew I had to get some new shoes.  Quality shoes.  So, I set myself to researching the best athletic shoes, especially for someone with plantar fasciitis.  Of the brands recommended, there were two I was attracted two...Saucony and New Balance.  During my research, I discovered that the brand alone isn't a determination.  Some of them may even make my ailment worse!  I had to look at specific models of each brand.

So, I hit the shoe stores and, after trying on numerous pairs, I finally settled on the New Balance WT573GB.
They aren't all flashy and don't have lights on them, but I can't wait to try them out!!

As an adult, I've always prided myself on not caring about paying for the name in the things I buy. Women walk around with these high dollar purses, spending what amounts to my car payment for a purse.  I could never see the point in spending a year's salary on a car when my hooptie would get me to work just as well.  I still believe this way, although I buy a little bit better quality hooptie now.  LOL  

I do, however, think I need to put more thought into where I cut corners.  Had I had better quality shoes growing up, perhaps my feet wouldn't be in such bad shape now?? 

As much as I don't want Bryce to ever look at his feet and be ashamed of the shoes he has on them, I don't want him to be an adult man with bad feet like his mommy!


Sunday, May 22, 2011

God vs Church and other thoughts :)

"The Rapture" was a big topic of conversation this past week.  People tweeted about it. Some blogged about it. Others posted Facebook status messages about it.  Not usually informed on current events as they usually depress me, I did actually have a clue what people were talking about. 

I spent a lot of time laughing about how gullible some people can be.  Several people dissolved their entire lives thinking that May 21st was the end.  One family, a married couple with one child, another due next month, budgeted everything so they'd have nothing left on May 21st.  It makes me wonder what kind of lives these people led to be so easily misled. 

Reading different points of view, it made me stop and think about my own beliefs.  I know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that a power greater than myself exists.  How could there not be?  Too many things have happened in my life, good and bad, to have any other explanation.  Things completely outside the realm of my control or rational thinking. 

What if those believers had been right?  

It's easy for me to say those people were idiots, completely gullible, and deserve the struggle they have to get their lives back.  The bottom line is, I'm really jealous of the level of faith that they had.  I struggle daily with my beliefs.  I consider myself a Christian, but at the same time, I question some of the beliefs that define Christians.  

One of those beliefs is that one must go to church every Sunday to be a good Christian.  My belief is that God hears us no matter where we are.  I enjoy church for many reasons... the fellowship, the learning.  These are the reasons I attend church, not because I feel it's a requirement for admission to heaven.  When I struggle with whether I really want to go to church today, it's not because of a perceived obligation to God.  

People judge you for attendance.  God knows what's in your heart.

Being away from the church for so long in no way meant I was away from God.  I may not have been as close as I should have been though.  Attending church helps keep me focused on trying to live a life of which God would approve. 

I believe I'm a good person.  I don't intentionally cause pain to others.  When I do cause pain, I do the best I can to make amends.  I try to live by the golden rule and treat others the way I like to be treated. Knowing the "right" thing to do isn't always second nature.  I am learning.  Attending church helps me learn.  It helps me to grow personally and to pass that knowledge on to Bryce so that he may learn right from wrong.

If the Rapture happened tomorrow, I'd like to believe God would see fit to take me.  I consider myself a work in progress.  God knows what's in my heart and my growth potential. :) 

"I live my life daily as if there IS a God, I do my best on a daily basis to do what I believe is right." 

A friend wrote this in her blog and I can't help but appreciate her words. Thanks Donna!! ♥

Friday, May 6, 2011

Thinking of Mom...

With Mother's Day just around the corner, it makes sense that my mom would be on my mind.  Really, I think of her every day, but the spring is always the hardest.  She was born in March 1946.  She died in March 2008, just days after her 62nd birthday, after a three-year struggle with cancer.  

Then, of course, Mother's Day comes along right after these milestone dates.  

My mom was truly a nut! I remember some of the crazy things she did.  The things I hated as a child I look back at now wishing I could do them all over again, no matter how embarrassing they were.  
One year, for the "Kiddie and Pet Parade" for the town carnival (aka Fun Fest), she dressed me in my one-piece bathing suit.  It was light blue with shiny little sequins all over it.  I was so proud of it and couldn't wait to show it off!  I was about 6 years old. To complement it, she handed me this bulky, ugly cassette tape player, stuck some huge headphones on my head, and put a Miss America-type sash across my torso that said, "Little Miss Watergate".

I WON the prize for best costume for my age group!  That's just proof that children have been used by their parents for comic relief for YEARS!!  I guess I should just be happy she didn't dress me as...


The one thing I admired most about my mother was her creativity.  Every once in a while I'll come up with something that lets me know I'm her daughter, but I couldn't begin to touch her ability to create something from nothing.   

For the Bicentennial celebration in 1976, she was ready to party!  Remember the style in the '70s??  SCARY!!  

She made herself a bright blue pantsuit, complete with bell-bottom sleeves and pant legs.  Around the cuffs of each, she sewed on red and white pom pom trim.  She wore a red, white and blue scarf tied around her neck.  You can bet she had on red, white, and blue jewelry of some kind, although no matter how hard I reach, I can't pull it from my mind.  I can just remember the horrid outfit!

I'd give anything to have pictures to go with the memories I have.  Sadly, we had a house fire when I was in Jr. high and lost everything.  

We didn't have a lot when I was growing up, but she made the best out of the things we did have.  I'm certain that, as a teenager, I took a lot of it for granted.    I'll be forever grateful that I came to appreciate her and was able to tell her just that before she died.  I have some regrets about my relationship with my mom, but I thank God one of them isn't failing to tell her I loved her!!

I Love You, Mom!!!


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Changes - some good, some... not so good

May 3, 2011...  Our 3rd anniversary.  Well, at least the one written in ink, signed by the Pastor, approved by the State of Tennessee (and the IRS), and witnessed by a handful of close friends and family.  To me, I was bound to my husband the moment I met him almost 9 years ago.

WOW.  9 years.  Time has just flown by.  It's amazing to me that we've been together for so long.  There were times I didn't think we'd make it.  I'm proud of where we are, how we've managed to come through some very tough times.  

I've gone through so many changes.  Some of them are really good.  I've learned to have more compassion and understanding for people.  Oh, there are times I still judge them and want to run them over with my car, but for the most part, I do well in "living and letting live".  I have more patience, or at the very least, saying out loud that my patience is gone.  If I warn you, I'm not responsible for the outcome if you continue to do the thing(s) that has destroyed my patience!

I do sit and look back at some of the things I've lost or changes that I'm unhappy with.  Obviously, some of them are just a sign of aging and can't be helped. (At least, that's what I tell myself)   A couple of things that defined me as a person years ago seem to have just flown the coop.  It really bothers me.

This morning is a PRIME example.  The alarm went off at 4:20.  I snoozed it for a couple of minutes and finally dragged myself out of bed at 4:45.  Entering a dark kitchen to make sure my life-blood was brewing, I flipped on the light to be greeted by a light blue envelope.  Tim had bought me an anniversary card and it was written so beautifully that it brought tears to my eyes.  It said so many things that just touched my heart.  Even though I know he probably skimmed it and said "This'll do", he grabbed a winner!

Then I was filled with dread.  I didn't have anything for him yet.  Still don't.  We have a date tonight and I just expected us to exchange stuff later.  I sat at work yesterday deciding on what to get him, but as soon as my feet hit the door to head home, all thoughts left my brain.  When it did cross my mind, I just reminded myself I still had today (before dinner) to get him something.

The "old" me would have planned things out for weeks.  I would have already been on eBay or Amazon scoping out deals and have purchased just the right thing.  I thrive on gift giving.  I LOVE to give someone a gift that makes their face light up.  


The last couple of years, though.  I've seemed to just procrastinate to the point that anything I buy or do feels rushed and with limited thought.  I pay less and less attention to detail.  Either that, or I plan something out and don't follow through.  I think about all these wonderful gifts and then every idea just kinda fizzles out.

On Bryce's 5th birthday last month, we bought him his very first bicycle.  We'd hidden it in the attic, not to be seen before his party.  I had it all planned out in my head.  After all his gifts were opened, we'd make him close his eyes while Daddy wheeled in his present.  I imagined him only hearing the "oohs" and "ahhs" of the other kids and anxiously anticipating what his BIG surprise might be.

Imagine my utter horror when the bike wasn't even remembered until everyone was gone and we were cleaning up the mess!!!  I couldn't believe that I'd been so thoughtless, so careless!  

Where the hell is my brain??  This is NOT me!!  It's pretty danged hard to convince myself I still have one when I continue to do stuff like this.

A friend of mine suggested it's because I have a kid now, and a fairly active one at that.  I do feel like I'm always running somewhere, my time is stretched thin.  But I consider that to be a cop out.  I don't care how many responsibilities I take ownership of.  I should be able to balance them all!! Hooah!

Ok, so it's apparent I need to have more compassion for myself and to stop having so many expectations.  I really admire my husband who has the ability to take so many things in stride.  (Notice I didn't say "everything" LOL) We each have our pet peeves.  He just seems to have a lot fewer than I do.  

I love you, Tim!  Happy Anniversary :)